Monday 2 April 2018

we're all products of our environment

       When I was younger I was both shy and  nieve trying to fit into a world I didnt understand,if  only i knew then what I know now surely my life would be different from the one I lead today ,if  even one event happened differently would  I  be the mother to my children  I am now the  daughter  I  am ,would people still think they know me when they only really know the me I allowe them to see.
     When I was younger I lived with my birth family in a run down dirty bug infested hoarder home  with parents who were by far beyond any type of a positive role model to myself ,they lied,cheated  and or stole what they wanted or worked the system set in place to  protect and empower people to  better  themselves,however this didnt help me in my young years to be a  productive member of society  I was placed into the foster care system and forgotten by my family.
    Once I was placed into the foster care system  I first  went to an emergency room to be checked  and  processed then off to an emergency care home for the night then to what turned into my forever  home where I was loved ,cared for ,it was  clean  and I was happy and remolded into the social butterfly I am now with a new lease on life and positive role models to look up too.
     The home which I still call home to this day was located in a quite community far from the hurt and the pain I had grown up with The mother an early aged senior soon become nanny with her adult daughter becomeing mom both with hearts of gold they took me into their home and their hearts and  never thought twice about it and would gladly do it again.
       They and the extented family have become my family they are the ones who loved me and  cared for me and brought me up they took me into their home with nothing  but literally the clothes on my back and the heaveniess in my heart that no one expecially a child should have to feel they fed me  clothed me and gave me a new lease on life and showed me I dont have to be my old life I am fee to be me so be the best me I can be no excuses or limitations give my everything in all I do with 100% best  and do it with my whole heart and expect nothing in return and  know that I did nothing but my best and that was all they could ask for.I thought this was the worst situation ever because I was so used to the way of "life" I  had lived I didnt know that there was anything better out there I was programmed to believe the lies I  had been told filled with my heart with such pain I didnt think it could be repaired id been taken from everything I had known but it was a total blessing instead.
    I was taught to never take anything for granted to always believe in myself and never give up on my dreams because no one will believe in me if they see I dont believe in myself I was given oppertunities to have things that had I stayed in my previous situation I wouldnt have been given so  music lessons,joined multiple school organizations be apart of cadets all which helped to mold and shape the woman I am so not hateing and resenting have been set aside to the past and  now I do all  I do with an open and whole heart.

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